Vampire Academy

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Not good, not good at all. How do you make vampires boring? The concept behind this script had potential but totally failed to connect with the audience in any sort of meaningful way. I never got into the story and was painfully aware of the minutes slowly ticking by as the DVD played. A great deal of the plot makes no sense and everything was very confusing, which was quite a trick considering pretty much the entire movie is nothing but exposition. I didn’t really like any of the characters and couldn’t have cared less what happened to them. They all seemed so one-dimensional with little to no personalities and their motivations for some of their actions were extremely unclear. The character of Rose had nothing of interest to say except rather inane one-liners and considering that she was the story’s protagonist, was surprisingly irritating. She was all wise-cracking attitude with nothing to back it up, and her Moroi BFF was no better.

The bizarre caste system of the Dhampirs and the Moroi was unsettling, as though it was offensive in a way I couldn’t quite identify. I think the acting was tolerable but they were working with a very weak script so it isn’t entirely the actors’ fault that I didn’t particularly like their performances. In the end, I was left with way too many questions but was frankly totally uninterested in finding out the answers. Clichéd predictable unoriginal drivel sounds a bit harsh, but it really was. I was delighted when it was over and I could joyfully hit the ‘eject’ button. – BETHANY

For more on this, er, film, visit the Internet Movie Database

What do you know, they actually do go to school – well for at least 30 seconds in the film.

But mostly they just hang around in school uniforms and look insouciant.

The not-so-epic love of Rose and Dimitri (Zoey Deutch and Danila Kozlovsky).

Joely Richardson as Queen Tatiana Ivashkov.

Ah yes, the ‘sparring becomes erotic between two parties attracted to one another’ cliché

Olga Krylenko as Headmistress Kirova and Zeoy Deutch as Rose Hathaway – even vampires can have fun with pharmacology!

Lucy Fry as Vasilisa “Lissa” Dragomir and Rose Hathaway.  Nice parasol!  And not so much insouciant as vexed.  They are terribly vexed.

And of course we can’t have a vampire movie without some biting.



Photos courtesy of Angry Films, Kintop Pictures, Preger Entertainment and Reliance Entertainment (unless otherwise credited in clickable form)


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