Hogfather

Sir Terry Pratchett invented the Discworld in 1983, doing for fantasy what Douglas Adams did for science fiction, producing a universe built on stories that pokes fun at absolutely everything. He’s a master of the English language and I highly recommend that you read some of his books so you can really appreciate the deep satire and hysterical turns of phrase he employs with careless ease. This is the best movie version of a Discworld book I have seen, primarily because the director was in cahoots with the author himself and Pratchett said it was uncanny watching things come to life that had hitherto existed only in his imagination. The script is very faithful (almost verbatim) to the book and absolutely nails the characters, with my personal favorite being an inspired performance of Bilious, the Oh god of Hangovers (not at all how I had pictured him, but even better!). Hogfather is one in a series of books about the Anthropomorphic Personification of Death, a consummate professional who is fascinated with humanity and is actually a very sympathetic character. He’s not evil, he simply shows up when someone dies but is NOT the cause of it. In this particular tale, a sinister force has conspired to kill the personification of a mid-winter festival, forcing Death to intervene and assume the role himself, lest belief collapse and life as we know it cease to exist.

Discworld is made of magic, littered with all sorts of things familiar but not quite as we know them, its purpose to hold up a mirror to our own world so we can see things from a different and often extremely funny angle. My only criticism of this movie is that scenes are intercut with one another with such speed that it makes it a little difficult to follow the story if you don’t already know what’s going on. This is satiric anti-fantasy, in that the author has taken the genre so terribly seriously that the results are often hilarious and frequently extremely thought provoking, while also digging deep into the human psyche in order to find what really makes us tick. Quite profound and infinitely creative, savor a story quite unlike anything else and discover the importance of belief that defines us as human. -BETHANY

For more on this wild and wacky film, visit: The Internet Movie Database

                            Discworld, a place made possible only by magic and saturated in the stuff.  It is carried on the backs of four great elephants who themselves stand on the shell of the Great A’Tuin, the World Turtle.

The Hogfather, a Discworld pseudo-Santa, who presides over Hogswatch, pictured on an Ankh-Morpork postage stamp.

Susan Sto Helit (Downton Abbey‘s Michelle Dockery), Death’s granddaughter (long story), a governess who chooses to deal with monsters under the bed not by telling the children in her care that they don’t exist, but by bashing them with a poker.  “Don’t get scared.  Get Angry.”

The Wizards of the Unseen University in Ankh-Morpork.

Death, voiced by Ian Richardson, and Albert (David Jason).

Susan investigates the Hogfather’s Castle.

                          Marc Warren as Mister Teatime, an assassin who makes even the Guild of Assassins nervous.  Current contract: kill the Hogfather.

                          Corporal Nobbs, right, and Constable Visit-The-Infidel-With-Explanatory-Pamphlets, nicknamed ‘Washpot’ for some inexplicable reason.

                                                                Susan embraces her heritage.

Death gets downright philosophical.

 

Photos courtesy of The Mob Film Company, RHI Entertainment, British Sky Broadcasting, Moving Picture Company, Sky One and ION Television

Bad Santa

It takes a certain type of person to appreciate this dark take on the normally twinkly magical genre of Christmas movies. I’d say approach with extreme caution as this is as far from Miracle on 34th Street as you can get. Billy Bob Thornton plays the most reprehensible Santa Claus ever, a misanthropic reprobate with absolutely no discernible good qualities and certainly no morals to speak of. He and his equally foul-mouthed friend work as Santa and elf at department stores during the holidays, after which they rob the place blind and live off their ill-gotten gains until the next year when they do it all over again in a different city. The film shows in loving detail all the ways in which this is a very Bad Santa, my personal favorites being beer cans and booze bottles falling out of his (stolen) car door, and him roaring that he’s on his lunch break when a mother and son approach him at the food court. This is a Santa who is constantly falling down drunk, who pees in his own pants and likes to (I’ll borrow the up-tight store manager’s words here, played by John Ritter) fornicate with large women in dressing rooms. The obscenity, vulgarity and raunchiness are beautifully counterpointed by a gorgeous classical music soundtrack which serves to underscore (pardon the pun) just how loathsome the story is. I might never think of ‘The Anvil Chorus’ the same way ever again! Lauren Graham plays a barmaid with a Santa fetish and Bernie Mac is hilarious as the store’s unscrupulous head of security. If you can get past the appalling language, scatological humor, rampant sexual content and the relentless cynicism infusing the whole movie, it really is funny. There’s even some rather moving stuff involving a lonely little boy who seeks out Santa at the mall. But the movie is true to itself to the bitter end, so don’t expect there to be a moral to the story. If you thought Will Smith was funny in Hancock, this might just tickle your fancy, but it’s best to know what you’re getting into beforehand. You’ve been warned. – BETHANY

For more on cast and crew:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0307987/?ref_=nv_sr_1

I feel like any comment I could put here would be interpreted as offensive.

Ho Ho Ho

I wonder if the mall pays for dry cleaning that suit?

Thurman Merman comes to visit Santa.  His parents did not do right by him.

Stuffy mall manager Bob Chipeska (John Ritter)

Canny head of mall security Gin Slagel (Bernie Mac) is slightly miffed at Willie Stokes (Billie Bob Thornton).

Sue (Lauren Graham), a bartender with a proclivity for Santa – it’s a match made in … in … well, a bar.

A wee bit of the ‘Anvil Chorus’ scene:

Photos courtesy of Columbia Pictures Corporation, Dimension Films, Triptych Pictures, Blixa Zweite Film Produktion GmbH & Co. KG and Mike Zoss Productions

Joyeux Noel (Merry Christmas)

One of the most beautiful movies it has been my pleasure to watch in a very long time. World War I was a senseless bloodbath, an exercise in futility that killed millions and only succeeded in delineating the sides for World War II. But in the midst of the horror of the trenches something amazing happened on Christmas Eve, 1914. I’ve heard versions of the Christmas Truce story many times, but this gorgeous movie puts names and faces to it, perfectly balanced with stories from both sides. Such divine music, amazing acting and incredibly detailed costumes and sets!  Diane Kruger delivers a gut-wrenching performance, and her paramour, Benno Fürmann, will bring tears to your eyes with his exceptional tenor voice (OK, his singing voice is provided by Rolando Villazón, but you get my point).  This is the sort of thing that renews your faith in humanity, to know there is still decency in the world. It’s tragic, funny, heartbreaking and deeply moving, and ultimately triumphant, like soothing balm for the soul. Of course, once word of the unofficial cease-fire got out, the military command on both sides nearly died of apoplexy. How do you go back to shooting at the “enemy” when you know all the soldier’s names in the opposite trench? They’d exchanged addresses, hoping to meet up after the war, showed pictures of wives, girlfriends and children, and even took letters to mail that would otherwise never have gotten through.  Eventually the war resumed, but for a brief shining moment a spirit of camaraderie and mutual respect trumped the guns, giving all of us a vision of what true peace could be. I reveled in the quiet rebellion of the unrepentant participants, even as they were scolded for their “lapse in judgement”. The second world war seems to get all the attention with lots of great movies made about it, with the notable exception of Warhorse, and I’m glad this story (based on real events) has a chance to reach a broader audience. I loved every second of this film and decided to buy it on the spot. Worth watching any time of year, as I thoroughly enjoyed it in the middle of July. – BETHANY

For all the obscure yet interesting facts about this movie, visit IMDB at: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0424205/

Lieutenant Camille René Audebert (Guillaume Canet) getting a haircut from his batman, Ponchel (Dany Boon).  Note the sign pointing the way to the English trenches.

            Anna Sørensen (Diane Kruger) and Private Nikolaus Sprink (Benno Fürmann) singing at a concert for the German top brass.

It is very unwise to tangle with the “ladies from hell”, as the Scots were nicknamed in World War I.

The first overture of peace.

Father Palmer (Gary Lewis) plays some mean bagpipes!

      The meeting in No Man’s Land.

Tea Parties?

         Scottish Lt. Gordon (Alex Ferns) French Lt. Audebert and German Lt. Horstmayer  (Daniel Brühl).

Yikes!  Glad none of us were over there!

Pictures of the real thing (found at themaltesegeek.wordpress.com).

Photos courtesy of Nord-Ouest Productions, Senator Film Produktion, The Bureau,  Artémis Productions, Media Pro Pictures, TF1 Films Production, es Productions de la Guéville, Canal+, CinéCinéma, Sat.1, Centre National de la Cinématographie (CNC), Eurimages, Région Nord-Pas-de-Calais, C.R.R.A.V., Medienboard Berlin-Brandenburg, Filmförderungsanstalt (FFA), Le Tax Shelter du Gouvernement Fédéral de Belgique, Soficinéma, Cofimage 16, Uni Etoile 2, Sogécinéma 3, Groupe Un, SCOPE Invest, Nippon Herald Films, Cinéart, Films Distribution and Cofinova 1.  (Whew, that’s a long list!)