Liev Schreiber | Reviews by Bethany

Movie 43

Before I get to my review, it should it noted that I’ve had to re-post this on Netflix multiple times. Evidently, people take offense at my comments and check the box marked ‘inappropriate or objectionable content’, then Netflix pulls the review from the site. I find this exceedingly ironic, as the content in the movie itself is far beyond inappropriate and objectionable. I figure people get irritated at my honesty and feel I need to “lighten up”. But I have just as much of a right to voice my opinion as anyone else, which is why I think Netflix needs to actually read reviews before automatically removing them to make sure there really is objectionable content and not that someone just disagreed with what was said. OK, I’ll get down off my soapbox now.

To say this movie is raunchy in no way conveys the depths of depravity commonplace throughout this film. This utterly disgusting and cringe-inducing movie is what you get when Hollywood tries to make fun of itself, which accounts for the incredible cast of Tinseltown’s best. If you’re wondering why so many great actors signed on for this piece of, er, manure, my theory is that they got one or two big names first (possibly by means of blackmail or calling in huge favors), then the rest snowballed. I can just hear their thoughts after reading the script, trying to politely decline and then being told that So-and-So and What’s-His-Name had agreed to participate. “Well, if they’ve all signed, I don’t want to be the only one who said no …”. This is funny in a horrifying watch-from-behind-your-hands kind of way, but it is important to know it isn’t going to just push the envelope, it’s going to bulldoze it clear over to the neighboring galaxy. I think the first sketch featuring Kate Winslet and Hugh Jackman was my favorite, as it was only mildly gross and I only gagged once (as did Kate). The rest descend into a pubescent scatological festival of nastiness that breaks pretty much every taboo and social more in modern culture. There are no words for some of the things this movie does, but depraved, loathsome, abhorrent, prurient and revoltingly nauseating come close. It wallows in obscenity, rejoices in being offensive and celebrates pandering to the lowest common denominator. If that sounds appealing to you, then by all means, watch this. I gave it at least one star because I can appreciate some of the ludicrous humor and the performances really are good, so I didn’t absolutely hate it. But it’s definitely an approach-with-extreme-caution type of movie and I cannot give it a strong recommendation. – BETHANY

For more on the extensive cast of this, uh, thing, visit the Internet Movie Database

For the pictures below, I’m not going to bother giving you the characters’ names because frankly, who cares?

Kate Winslet on a blind date with a seemingly perfect guy. What’s she staring at, you ask?

She’s staring at the balls hanging from Hugh Jackman‘s neck. This might be the only possible way to make him unattractive.

In this sketch, Chloë Grace Moretz really needs to go home because a beautiful miracle of blossoming womanhood has inconveniently occurred for the first time while she’s visiting the neighboring house full of boys.

The poor girl will be scarred for life!

Awkward superhero speed dates. Kristen Bell tries to be polite to Justin Long while Batman (Jason Sudeikis) “hides” under the table, making crude comments in an attempt to coach Robin (Justin Long).

Anna Faris has asked long-time boyfriend Chris Pratt to fulfill her greatest sexual fantasy by defecating on her. He’s justifiably hesitant.

Anna Farris does her best to encourage him.

This poor kid’s parents have decided to homeschool him and have taken it upon themselves to fulfill every conceivable role in a teenager’s life. Here his mother, Naomi Watts, plays the sexy teacher.

His father, Liev Schreiber, implements traumatizing hazing deemed necessary for the real high school experience. It only gets worse from there.

Dennis Quaid is the screenwriter responsible for this whole mess as he holds Greg Kinnear hostage in an effort to get his work produced. Don’t be fooled by who is holding the gun.

Richard Gere – that expression says it all.

Elizabeth Banks – an even more appropriate reaction to this movie.

Here are two faux commercials inserted into this movie. I’m including them because they might be the only funny bits in the whole thing. WARNING: the first clip has a shark in it.

Photos courtesy of Relativity Media, Virgin Produced, GreeneStreet Films, Wessler Entertainment and Witness Protection Films (unless otherwise credited in clickable form)

Here’s a roster of the star-studded cast: