Midnight in Paris

An unusual but very enjoyable movie that doesn’t follow the typical path of a romantic comedy. I loved the premise, how the story unfolded, all the vast array of historical cameos, as well as several rather profound theories about the present, the past and human perception. Owen Wilson stars as Gil Pender, a struggling writer who has come to Paris with his fiancée, Inez (Rachel McAdams) and her parents on vacation.  Naturally because he’s already engaged, he’s all set to find his perfect match elsewhere.  Apparently in order to find The One, you must be with the Wrong, at least according to Hollywood.  It’s obvious from the beginning that his relationship with Inez isn’t great, as their outlooks on life are radically different.  Paul (Michael Sheen), a friend of Inez, is particularly unpleasant, described as “pedantic and a pseudo-intellectual”.  So out of boredom or just wanting to get away from his irksome companions, Gil takes to walking the streets of Paris and that’s when things get interesting. Naturally everything revolves around the clock striking midnight, announcing the arrival of a mysterious car whose occupants dressed in old-fashioned clothing urge Gil to join them.  The rest of the story is a lazy waltz through time where Gil meets various historical luminaries like F. Scott Fitzgerald (Tom Hiddleston), Ernest Hemingway (Corey Stoll), Gertrude Stein (Kathy Bates), Cole Porter, Joséphine Baker (Sonia Rolland), Salvador Dalí (Adrien Brody), T.S. Eliot, Henri Matisse, Paul Gauguin, Edgar Degas and Pablo Picasso.  (It seems the only artist left out is Vincent Van Gogh, which is a bit odd considering the movie poster.) Marion Cotillard and Léa Seydoux also star and the narrative is pure magic that will have great appeal to those fond of literature and art in particular.

But in spite of all that was great about this movie there was one pernicious aspect to it that all but ruined it for me (thus only two stars). Hollywood seems utterly incapable of making movies that do not have a political agenda and I’m sick of the constant demonization of the Republican party and its ideology. The protagonist is almost invariably a Democrat and all the “bad” characters are naturally Republicans. Perhaps Hollywood feels if it can just show America enough stories portraying Republicans as the bad guys it might have an impact come election day and influence the minds of the next generation. (Whether this works or not is dubious at best) I wouldn’t mind politics being part of the story if it weren’t for the constant slant towards the left that is ubiquitous in the entertainment industry. This movie, for all its magic and imagination, couldn’t seem to put politics aside and just tell a good story. In fact, it was possible to tell which characters you were supposed to dislike because of their right wing views. I found the “Cheap is cheap” line to be particularly revolting and just for the record, conservatives do not universally equate dollar signs with value. A gift from the heart does not need to be expensive to be treasured. Enough with the constant misrepresentations and stereotypes! For any potential viewers whose beliefs incline towards the conservative, you might want to take some anti-nausea medication before watching this movie. Fabulous music, exquisite costumes, just enough bitterness to keep the sweetness from cloying and spectacular views of Paris, this movie could have been so much better if politics had just been left out of it. – BETHANY

For more on the impressive cast of this dreamy movie, drop by the Internet Movie Database

Could this place be any more gorgeous?  Gil (Owen Wilson) with Inez (Rachel McAdams).

All alone in the City of Love.

Who wouldn’t want to join this party?

Zelda (Alison Pill) and F. Scott Fitzgerald.  Tom Hiddleston is almost unrecognizable but the look suits him.

Ernest Hemingway (Corey Stoll) – appropriately rumpled and misanthropic.

Adrianna (Marion Cotillard) and Gil discuss things near and dear to his heart.  Nice, er,  display of stuffed birds.  (Aflac!)

A very animated Salvador Dalí (Adrien Brody) gives liberal and unsolicited advice to Gil.

Moral of the story:  Good things happen when you wander the streets of Paris. (And vote Democrat) *gag*

Oooops, wrong movie shot of Paris.  So much for the Champs-Élysées, but at least the Arc de Triomphe is still standing!  (Photo from the movie Armageddon, courtesy of Touchstone Pictures, Jerry Bruckheimer Films and Valhalla Motion Pictures)

 

 

Photos courtesy of Gravier Productions, Mediapro, Pontchartrain Productions, Televisió de Catalunya (TV3), Versátil Cinema and Sony Pictures Classic (unless otherwise noted or credited in clickable form)

Helix

I only watched a few episodes of Helix before deciding it was not for me. I liked the premise and it was certainly suspenseful, but I just couldn’t take the relentless gore and unnecessarily gross visuals. Too creepy and way too violent, I quit watching even though I really was interested in the plot. There are plenty of other things to watch that don’t feel the need to horrify and shock the viewer. I enjoy shows like True Blood, Bones, Sleepy Hollow, Grimm, Fargo, and Z Nation as well as scary movies like Pitch Black, the Alien series and The Ghost in the Darkness, so it’s not like I object to graphic bloody stuff in general. But Helix took it to a whole new level of nastiness and there are some things you can’t un-see. It’s a real shame because I liked the idea behind the show.  Evidently others felt the same way I did because after two seasons of lackluster ratings, the Syfy channel pulled the plug.  – BETHANY

For more on this creepy short-lived show, visit the Internet Movie Database

Well this isn’t good …

Someone was experimenting with monkeys and when they were done, simply tossed them outside.

I know this is fictional but the horrific animal cruelty portrayed was just too much, and was never really even addressed.

Look out!  He’s got a syringe gun and he’s going to try and use it but will probably fail.

You really don’t want to see what’s in that body bag.  I wish I hadn’t …

How to make a creepy sick person:  Put veins all over the place, use red contacts and distribute random patches of blood and black ooze.  Perfect!

The ‘inexplicably dead scientist whose cause of death is unknown’ cliché.

Is it just me or does this guy look like one of the Wraith on Stargate: Atlantis?

Now here’s a makeup department cop-out.

My word, what a thoroughly disgusting and rather pointless show!

And this poster for season 2 is supposed to make you want to see the show?

 

 

Photos courtesy of Kaji Productions, Muse Entertainment Enterprises, Lynda Obst Productions, Sony Pictures Television and Syfy

Movie 43

Before I get to my review, it should it noted that I’ve had to re-post this on Netflix multiple times.  Evidently, people take offense at my comments and check the box marked ‘inappropriate or objectionable content’, then Netflix pulls the review from the site.  I find this exceedingly ironic, as the content in the movie itself is far beyond inappropriate and objectionable.  I figure people get irritated at my honesty and feel I need to “lighten up”.  But I have just as much of a right to voice my opinion as anyone else, which is why I think Netflix needs to actually read reviews before automatically removing them to make sure there really is objectionable content and not that someone just disagreed with what was said.  OK, I’ll get down off my soapbox now.

To say this movie is raunchy in no way conveys the depths of depravity commonplace throughout this film. This utterly disgusting and cringe-inducing movie is what you get when Hollywood tries to make fun of itself, which accounts for the incredible cast of Tinseltown’s best. If you’re wondering why so many great actors signed on for this piece of, er, manure, my theory is that they got one or two big names first (possibly by means of blackmail or calling in huge favors), then the rest snowballed. I can just hear their thoughts after reading the script, trying to politely decline and then being told that So-and-So and What’s-His-Name had agreed to participate. “Well, if they’ve all signed, I don’t want to be the only one who said no …”. This is funny in a horrifying watch-from-behind-your-hands kind of way, but it is important to know it isn’t going to just push the envelope, it’s going to bulldoze it clear over to the neighboring galaxy. I think the first sketch featuring Kate Winslet and Hugh Jackman was my favorite, as it was only mildly gross and I only gagged once (as did Kate). The rest descend into a pubescent scatological festival of nastiness that breaks pretty much every taboo and social more in modern culture. There are no words for some of the things this movie does, but depraved, loathsome, abhorrent, prurient and revoltingly nauseating come close. It wallows in obscenity, rejoices in being offensive and celebrates pandering to the lowest common denominator. If that sounds appealing to you, then by all means, watch this. I gave it at least one star because I can appreciate some of the ludicrous humor and the performances really are good, so I didn’t absolutely hate it. But it’s definitely an approach-with-extreme-caution type of movie and I cannot give it a strong recommendation. – BETHANY

For more on the extensive cast of this, uh, thing, visit the Internet Movie Database

For the pictures below, I’m not going to bother giving you the characters’ names because frankly, who cares?

                                      Kate Winslet on a blind date with a seemingly perfect guy.  What’s she staring at, you ask?

She’s staring at the balls hanging from Hugh Jackman‘s neck.  This might be the only possible way to make him unattractive.

In this sketch, Chloë Grace Moretz really needs to go home because a beautiful miracle of blossoming womanhood has inconveniently occurred for the first time while she’s visiting the neighboring house full of boys.

The poor girl will be scarred for life!

Awkward superhero speed dates.  Kristen Bell tries to be polite to Justin Long while Batman (Jason Sudeikis) “hides” under the table, making crude comments in an attempt to coach Robin (Justin Long).

Anna Faris has asked long-time boyfriend Chris Pratt to fulfill her greatest sexual fantasy by defecating on her.  He’s justifiably hesitant.

                                      Anna Farris does her best to encourage him.

This poor kid’s parents have decided to homeschool him and have taken it upon themselves to fulfill every conceivable role in a teenager’s life.  Here his mother, Naomi Watts, plays the sexy teacher.

His father, Liev Schreiber, implements traumatizing hazing deemed necessary for the real high school experience.  It only gets worse from there.

Dennis Quaid is the screenwriter responsible for this whole mess as he holds Greg Kinnear hostage in an effort to get his work produced.  Don’t be fooled by who is holding the gun.

Richard Gere – that expression says it all.

Elizabeth Banks – an even more appropriate reaction to this movie.

Here are two faux commercials inserted into this movie.  I’m including them because they might be the only funny bits in the whole thing.  WARNING: the first clip has a shark in it.

 

 

Photos courtesy of Relativity Media, Virgin Produced, GreeneStreet Films, Wessler Entertainment and Witness Protection Films (unless otherwise credited in clickable form)

Here’s a roster of the star-studded cast:

• Dennis Quaid
• Greg Kinnear
• Common
• Will Sasso
• Seth MacFarlane
• Fisher Stevens
• Hugh Jackman
• Kate Winslet
• Liev Schreiber
• Naomi Watts
• Anna Faris
• Chris Pratt
• Kieran Culkin
• Emma Stone
• Justin Long
• Jason Sudeikis
• Kristen Bell
• Uma Thurman
• Bobby Cannavale
• Leslie Bibb
• Richard Gere
• Kate Bosworth
• Christopher Mintz-Plasse
• Chloë Grace Moretz
• Patrick Warburton
• Gerard Butler
• Johnny Knoxville
• Seann William Scott
• Halle Berry
• Stephen Merchant
• Snooki
• Terrence Howard
• Elizabeth Banks
• Julianne Moore
• Josh Duhamel
• Tony Shalhoub
• Bob Odenkirk
• Anton Yelchin

For the full list, their roles and descriptions of the sketches, visit the film’s Wikipedia page.

Revenge

You know it’s a soap when you find it very difficult, if not impossible, to explain what’s happening to someone else. This one is soaked in skulduggery, civilian espionage, scheming, backstabbing, social climbing, double-crossing and of course, the quest for *thunderclap* Revenge! It is populated by beautiful and also gifted actors, like the great Madeleine Stowe playing Victoria Grayson, the ultimate Hamptons Society Queen with the ethics of a cobra. Emily Thorne, once upon a time named Amanda Clark, returns to the Hamptons to seek vengeance for her father, a man wrongly accused and convicted of a heinous act of terror. The real villains are the Graysons, along with a host of other people who played a part in David Clark’s demise. It’s a genuine, if slightly guilty pleasure watching Emily wield her red sharpie pen, slowly crossing off each person on her list of wrongdoers after spectacularly orchestrating their downfalls.

This is a potboiler extraordinaire with fabulous plot twists, totally unexpected revelations, and a goodly dollop of romantic intrigue. It wholeheartedly embraces soapy clichés like amnesia, long lost siblings, love triangles, car crashes, excesses of the obscenely rich, and murder most foul, while still managing to feel believable (quite a feat!). Excellent fashion design, gorgeous dresses, jewelery, sets and locations, this show is visually stunning as well. Each episode is beautifully framed by Emily’s voice, musing a philosophic observation about some aspect of life, setting the theme for each week’s story and providing a window into Emily’s soul. I’m completely absorbed in the story and look forward to each new episode. [The show ran for four highly successful seasons and was brought to an extremely satisfactory conclusion. I’ll miss it but I loved the ending!] – BETHANY

For more on this twisty-turny adventure, visit: the Internet Movie Database

(Click to see a much larger version)  From left to right:  Ashley Davenport (Ashley Madekwe), Jack Porter (Nick Wechsler), Declan Porter (Connor Paolo), Nolan Ross (Gabriel Mann), Emily Thorne (Emily VanCamp), Charlotte Grayson (Christa B. Allen), Victoria Grayson (Madeleine Stowe), Daniel Grayson (Josh Bowman) and Conrad Grayson (Henry Czerny).

                                   Emily Thorne, dressed to kill (possibly literally), with her signature penetrating gaze.

Emily is way more than just a pretty face.

Digging the hat, Emily!

                                 Victoria Grayson reigning over a Hamptons event.

Jack Porter, Emily’s childhood friend and one of the few people not on her hit list.  (Nick Wechsler)

                                                                Another friend-not-foe is tech genius Nolan Ross, always flamboyant and entertaining, who knows Emily’s secret and heartily supports her quest.

This is the expression women wear when exchanging barbed pleasantries with a social enemy.

Daniel Grayson, privileged heir to a business empire and Emily’s chosen mark.

Conrad Grayson – isn’t he just the picture of a shady and self-satisfied one percenter?  He also looks like the lamp is growing out of his head.

Pretty and spoiled Charlotte Grayson – do these people ever do anything besides wear expensive clothes to parties?

Evidently not – another party at Grayson manor.

Emily planning her next move, looking through the contents of the double infinity box.

Jack Porter aboard the boat named for his lost childhood friend.

Fashion is a huge element on Revenge and here’s your opportunity to buy stuff seen on the show:  Worn on TV,  Shop Your TV,  and many others to be found by simply Googling ‘Revenge’ and ‘Clothes’.  Just beware of spoilers!

 

 

Photos courtesy of The Page Fright Company/Mike Kelly Productions, Temple Hill Entertainment, ABC Studios and ABC (unless otherwise credited in clickable form)

Fresh Off the Boat

I was fully prepared to like this show, as I like the idea of parlaying the embarrassment of childhood into entertainment, not to mention I too grew up in Orlando, Florida. I thought it would be nice to see a show that didn’t feel the need to be politically correct but rather use stereotypes and conventions to achieve a unique flavor of humor. Unfortunately, although this does feature the inevitable culture clash of a Taiwanese family ruthlessly pursuing their idea of the American Dream, it’s far more likely to cause merely a modest titter here and there rather than a genuine belly laugh. I think perhaps it’s trying too hard, with all the “humor” defined in terms of racial epithets and sweeping generalizations, with the result being relentlessly negative. The mother is a bit of a shrew and killjoy, proud when her son turns out to be lactose intolerant because as she says, it means his body is rejecting white culture. The oldest boy tells her, “All you care about is money.”

The browbeaten father fares no better. How sad when a dad tells his son he loves him and these are the kid’s thoughts on the event. “We loved each other. We just didn’t say it. We showed our love through criticism and micromanagement. So if you said “love you”, you were probably hiding something.” The entire effect of the show is very wearing, with monotonously overt racism evidently meant to be funny but failing miserably. Such a concept is possible, as evidenced by the show Sullivan & Son (which I have also reviewed on this site), but the difference is at Sullivan’s bar, absolutely everyone is skewered, which equalizes the issue and is, for lack of a better word, fair in dishing out stereotype-based humor. Instead of the irreverent comedy this show promised to be, it’s fatiguing to watch and life is too short to waste time with TV shows that feel more like a chore than entertainment. The world needs less of a focus on race, not more. – BETHANY

For more on this disappointing show, visit the Internet Movie Database

Constance Wu as mother Jessica Huang.

The décor in this restaurant is beyond atrocious!

 

Photos courtesy of Fierce Baby Productions, The Detective Agency, 20th Century Fox Television and ABC

The Blacklist

James Spader is the undisputed star of this awesome show, playing Raymond Reddington, a permanent resident of the FBI’s most wanted list. For reasons of his own, he voluntarily surrenders and starts working with the FBI, and one agent in particular, to take down members of the world’s criminal underbelly that Reddington himself considers the scum of the earth. He plays his anti-hero role perfectly, with dry acerbic panache, underpinned by a deep well of genuine ‘something’. What it is, we’ll have to wait and see, but there is obviously something important at his core driving him. This is definitely a thriller, but there is plenty of emotion, humor and finely edged wit to lighten the tension. Nobody can sneer quite like James Spader, although I read once that many people would pay good money to see a sneering contest between Spader and Kevin Spacey.

Reddington’s complicated relationship with his FBI go-to agent, Elizabeth Keen (Megan Boone), is marvelous, as are his interactions with other FBI suits as well as associates and/or friends who aren’t precisely in strictly legal lines of work. There is a definite long story arc at play here, although each episode generally deals with another name on the List. If you watch out of order, I’d say you will miss about 50% of what’s really going on. Thoroughly entertaining to watch the FBI work with the devil they know to take down the truly evil, plus simultaneous other plots and subplots, this show is definitely worth watching. – BETHANY

Visit IMDB for more information:  the Internet Movie Database

The image gallery has been carefully selected so as to give away no spoilers.

Raymond Reddington and Elizabeth Keen (James Spader and Megan Boone).

Assistant Director of the FBI Harold Cooper (Harry Lennix).  You might recognize him from Dollhouse.

                        Agent Donald Ressler (Diego Klattenhoff).  He’s a great character and gets quite a few good lines.

FBI team at work – second from left, Samar Navabi (Mozhan Marnò) and Aram Mojtabai (Amir Arison).

Agent Keen and Reddington under cover.

Tom Keen: Mild mannered school teacher or something else entirely?  Ryan Eggold

Alan Fitch (Alan Alda).

Reddington is just too cool and never misses an opportunity to lounge.

Reddington’s ever-present shadow/chauffeur Dembe (Hisham Tawfiq).

 

 

 

Photos courtesy of Davis Entertainment, Universal Television, Sony Pictures Television and NBC (unless otherwise credited in clickable form)

	Bonus:  Check out Megan Boone (right) in Welcome to the Jungle.

Cosmos

This show is a masterpiece of television, enthralling and exhilarating, pushing the horizons of your mind farther than you ever thought possible. Told in a simple but not condescending way so as to be understandable to a wider audience, this show takes very difficult and complex concepts and breaks them down into readily digestible chunks of knowledge. Gorgeous special effects, a unique style of animation, beautiful music reminiscent of the soundtrack of Contact, spectacular cinematography and of course the gravitas-rich voice and person of Neil deGrasse Tyson make this a feast for the senses as well as being very satisfying nourishment for the mind. Each gorgeously crafted episode explores places and things the average person never thinks about, courtesy of a sleek “ship of the imagination” which can go absolutely anywhere. Unbelievably creative and thoughtful, this show never fails to elicit a frisson of excitement, spurring me to think about science in a way previously only reserved for chocolate and a good book. It could easily have taken a derogatory tone towards religion but instead illustrates that science and faith don’t have to be in conflict. Cosmos invites you to dive into the unknown and take a swim in the deep oceans of the universe, learning all sorts of interesting things along the way. Gloriously profound and ingenious, this is a celebration of history and the exploration of new scientific frontiers, all wrapped up with a big bow just waiting for the viewer to open it. Rest easy, Carl Sagan, your legacy is in good hands, ready for the next generation of thinkers and philosophers to push farther into the cosmos than ever before. [This show seems to really polarize viewers in that they either love it or hate it, both of them loudly.  For the record, I’m a political conservative and a strong Christian. Science and religion are two sides of the same coin, so why do people feel the need to choose between them and then spew such vitriol at the other camp?] – BETHANY

This is another of my reviews that was repeatedly pulled from the Netflix website because it was “objectionable”.  I ask you, is there anything in my review you would term offensive or inappropriate?  I don’t think there is anything that meets that criteria, which means people simply disagreed with what I said.  Since most of the ‘hate’ reviews of Cosmos are from the super religious, I’m guessing it was they who thought my positive impression of the show was an insult to their own theology.  Sometimes I’m embarrassed to be associated with other Christians, as they give the rest of us a bad name.  Come on, people, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

For more on Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey visit the Internet Movie Database

Ship of the Imagination traversing a strand of DNA

Neil deGrasse Tyson on the bridge of the Ship of the Imagination

Joseph Fraunhofer experiments with prisms

The cosmic calendar

 

Photos courtesy of Cosmos Studios, Fuzzy Door Productions and Santa Fe Studios

Noah

I guess there is a simple truth exemplified by this movie: Hollywood is totally incapable of creating a movie that accurately depicts its source material. I’ll be the first to acknowledge the picture of a totally benevolent Noah standing beatifically at the entrance of the ark as animals come two by two is probably not quite how it went down. As a Christian but also someone capable of rational thought and logic, the real story is probably a lot more complicated than what eventually got written down. The book of Genesis, if we’re being honest, is a little vague and sometimes self-contradictory, which leaves the door open to a lot of interpretation. The few passages describing the antediluvian world are very strange, full of references to things since lost to history and again, open to speculation and extrapolation. Therefore I can tolerate The Watchers and the idea that Cain’s descendants built a rather advanced civilization. But while the broad strokes of the Biblical story are present in this movie, there are quite a few things that directly contradict what is specifically stated in the Bible. There are a lot of overtones that seem to be transplanted directly from the story of Abraham and Isaac as well as deliberately choosing to gross out modern audiences with several presumptive cases of incest, in flagrant disregard of the Genesis account. I’ve got no problem with Noah perhaps not being the nicest guy and struggling to understand what God really wanted him to do. Go right ahead and fill out the story in any way you might imagine it, but don’t mangle the few pieces of it that do survive just for the sake of being dramatic. I think the biggest mistake this movie made was not portraying God as an active character. The Prince of Egypt was so much better in that respect. There are things to appreciate about this movie, such as the acting performances and special effects, but not enough to earn it more than a disappointing single star. – BETHANY

For more on this fiasco of Biblical proportions, visit the Internet Movie Database

The Classic Image of Noah (courtesy of gnosticteachings.org)

Aronofsky’s Noah  (Russell Crowe).

Methuselah in the Noah story?  Why drag Anthony Hopkins into this?

A Watcher, colloquially referred to as a “Rock Monster”

How to save on food bills.  Jennifer Connelly as Mrs. Noah.

Which brother gets Hermione?  Emma Watson

Oh the rains came down and the floods came up …

                                          His Big Badness, Tubal-cain, played by Ray Winstone.

 

 

Photos courtesy of Regency Enterprises, Protozoa Pictures and Paramount Pictures